Seattle Mental Health

My dear friend, poet Dessa Byrd Reed, often spends holidays alone as a widow. However, she does not see this, like many people often do, as a depressing circumstance. In an interview in November 2000 POETIC voice, she said: "Because I am single and live alone, eat a lot. I like talking to strangers. This is one of my favorite things. I go out for breakfast and talk to people. "
Another talented writer, Leslie Lafayette, dealt with being a childless woman by choice, WHY DO NOT you have children?: Living a life without Parenthood. You can bet that, because of her choice many people pity her. She writes the "Alone Again, Naturally" column for the magazine in circulation THE DESERT WOMAN. Observers might conclude she is miserable on the holidays.
Both Leslie and Dessa have a full life and make wishes for Christmas, not only in December, but throughout the year. While we all need human contact, it is a mistake to conclude that people without the traditional family dinner are all on suicide watch. Any person who negotiated the case of Christmas and have that family members may come when, without reading about law and spouse disputes, knows that the attraction of having a table for one at Christmas is powerful.
However, when people are not alone by choice, Christmas can be lonely. In Michigan, I interviewed a woman, the founder of a divorced and widowed support group, who have opted for the Christmas dinner every year for lonely widows, widowers and divorcees, in its general support group. Her children understood that she needed to start this new tradition in her new life.
Similarly, the presence of children, even with gimme relentless commercialism, lends a magical Christmas, which explains why playing Santa appeals to so many.
The holidays can be happy if you are alone, or they can be difficult. Like many, your feelings depend on your personality, your circumstances, your childhood, and in many cases on medical or psychological conditions.
Here are some tips to remember if you are alone or without the support of your system:
* Take advantage of counseling services in your community, including from your local church, synagogue, temple or other place of worship.
* Take time to spirituality. You can attend services just to experience human contact and community. People are generally nicer at Christmas.
* Do all the things you wanted, but could not in your former life. Travel. Even in this post-9/11 world, you can visit faraway places. There are many tour groups for singles.
* Attend art walks, holiday concerts, lectures, film screenings and alone. Or invite a friend you have not spoken for a while.
* Volunteer-it's a wonderful way to make friends, stay active and feel fulfilled.
* Go dine alone! While women in particular, feel uncomfortable, the project an air of confidence. You're a strong woman, vital. This does not mean you should go bar-hopping or take risks alone at night. But you have the right to request a table for one without feeling as if people are judging you. (Most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to notice.)
* Gather a circle of friends or people in the same situation, just make sure the evening does not turn into a pity party.
* Do not overdrink, overeat or do drugs. It is simply not a good tradition.
* Bake cookies if you're so inclined. Cookies make wonderful Christmas presents and ways to reconnect with your friends.
You might be tempted to think of yourself as Ebenezer Scrooge. Do not, and boil anyone in his own pudding who calls you "Scrooge." You are the honor Christmas in your own heart and keep forever. Christmas for everyone?